Summertime Sadness


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The whole Destiny’s Child – Independent Ladies thing is fabulous and I’m all for it, in fact I proudly call myself it all the time (providing credit card debt doesn’t count). I live in London while all my family are up North, I mean even most of my friends live centrally so I’m virtually Alone.

And usually I’m ok with being alone, in fact I’m more than ok with it, I’m really quite happy about it. I’m a solitary creature by nature, I love my own company and need a lot of downtime. Even if I were in a relationship I’d like to retain that as I think it’s important. But lately I’ve been feeling a bit well… lonely, I have to admit. I thought Winter would be worse for these kind of blues but Lana Del Rays Summertime Sadness is real people.

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The worst part is I know it’s a loneliness that comes from a longing of wanting to be with someone. Of course we as independent women can’t openly admit that so I thought I’d come out and say it and get rid of any perceived shame that it makes me somehow weaker. I’ve come to realise it’s ok to not want to be alone so I admit it, I want to be with someone. Saying it out loud makes me cringe and down right terrifies me. Yes all I can hear is the ‘Annie wants a boyfriend’ playground song too.

What if it’s a case of saying it won’t make it happen, maybe some future potential will read this and run a mile? On the flip side maybe once I finally admit this to myself I’ll subsequently get it? Cue the Genie from Aladdin.

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Of course many will argue Summer is THE best time to be single when it’s all festivals, beer gardens and rooftop parties (all invites welcome btw). Although those things have never really interested me quite as much as having someone special to share that rowing boat in the park with. There’s just something so wistfully Jane Austen-like about holding hands on Hampstead Heath and prosecco picnics in Hyde Park (I know right, I’d date me).

Don’t get me wrong I’ve not got a billboard around my neck advertising ‘boyfriend wanted’ to all and sundry. I’m not looking for just anyone, maybe that’s partly my problem. I’ve been on so many dates that I’m not easily pleased but why should I be, if there’s one thing I’ve learnt, always have standards. You’ll only be fooling yourself in the long run.


Maybe it’s because of a recent ‘thing’ that I had hoped would maybe eventally turn into boyfriend/girlfriend status (see previous post) I liked him a lot and he said he did too so now I know after 3 years of singledom what that feels like and what I’m missing out on.

This Summer I’m going to try and focus my mind on enjoying my freedom as a single gal. Who knows, things can change in a heartbeat and this could be my last one alone, that maybe I’d look back on and wish I had made the most of.

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So here’s to a social Summer filled with friends, focusing on myself and happiness in my career – failing that there’ll always be Pimms and Aperol Spritz round the corner in every pub in England…


Bag – Topshop (similar)/Jeans – Topshop (similar)/Loafers – Linzi Shoes/Denim Jacket – Topshop (similar)/Sunglasses – eBay/Top – Primark

Full of the joys of Spring

Fashion, Lifestyle, Photoshoot, Wellbeing


Here I am twirling around in a field full of flowers feeling like I’m bloody Maria Von Trapp in the Sound of Music (my fav musical fyi) and I cannot think of a better way to describe how Spring makes me feel.

Those first glimpses of Sun on your face that hint Summer is on its way. Especially what with the British weather being a huge tease this year, is it snowing, isn’t it snowing? It messed with our heads more than a f*ckboy and turned up when it was quite frankly too late and we’re all over it.

But this blog post is not just about the weather oh no, (I mean I am British and I LOVE to go on about it but I’ll try not to be basic here).

PANA4224-2Dress: Loavies 

This photoshoot and the weather got me thinking about happiness. As undoubtably EVERYONE is in a much better mood when the sun is shining and the flowers are blooming. But what can we do to be happy year round? When maybe it rains all day, you’ve got a huge hole in your tights exposing your bum cheeks and generally having a bad work week… all the while being let down by a friend and going through a major family issue (this was all just last week). It’s about knowing that those times and days won’t last, however dark.

Looking for the little things to be grateful for, surrounding yourself with people that lift you up and setting goals to accomplish (however small) all help me. Sometimes it is a case of just having to power through till you reach those better times. But they Are there.


Everyone comments that I’m such a happy, smiley person (disclaimer: not 100% of the time, I’m not a robot) so I thought I’d share my secret. Personally what makes me happy is following my heart, listening to my intuition and basically not giving a f*ck. When I say that, obviously I do give a f*ck but only about the important things and not sweating about the small stuff or allowing other people’s behavior or opinions get to me. 9 times out of 10 you’ll find that something that really bothered you, maybe what someone said or did, works out to not matter anymore, maybe that person was just going through a rough patch themselves.

When I’m in a funk I love to either go to the gym, blare out upbeat music (Club Tropicana works a treat) and look after myself with some self-care, even if it’s just a nice hot long shower. Yoga can also be a great release of emotions – seriously people cry mid-class.


Last week I got my hair chopped short (obvs after these pictures), there were some neigh-sayers as expected but I listened to myself, thought no guts no glory and did what I thought would make ME happy anyway. I was longing for a change after 10 years of the same hairstyle and my long locks had become a bit of a burden. Thankfully I love it! (Sometimes change is exactly what you need to make you happier in the long run, no matter how scary).


Obviously there’s so much more I could write about the art of happiness, it’s a huge subject, especially within the whole wellness industry at the moment and we just don’t have that kind of time on my humble little blog. So I suppose the main thing that maintains my positivity is an unwavering faith that I’m on a journey where everything is unfolding as it’s meant to. Even if you can’t see it at first you will look back one day and know why it worked out the way it did. Which brings me to my fav Steve Jobs quote:


“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”

― Steve Jobs


I was previously in a 10 year relationship which ended abruptly and I couldn’t understand why. It’s only looking back now that I realise. I know I would never have been the independent person I am thankful to be today if we were still together.


When times get hard I like to check myself and remember who I am and what I’ve been through before and say to myself ‘if I’ve done that, I can get through anything’. You’re always stronger than you know. Another fav quote of mine which you would have heard on The Kardashian’s several times, goes ‘God only gives you what you can handle’. I’m more spiritual than religious (as my dating profile proclaims) so I take that to mean the Universe but whether you believe in God, The Kardashian’s or not, use it any way that you see fit.

Another important note to add is that when you are happy, do not feel guilty about it, it’s not a selfish act. If you’re happy you can make others happy and spread that positivity. Think of it as putting on your oxygen mask in the aeroplane first in order to assist others.


I’m not pretending that I won’t have to go back and read this at some point to reassure myself but I hope the words here (more so the expert quotes and book links below) can help someone at some point.

A x

Reading list:


Photos: Andrew McGovern

Edit: Annie at the Fringe